Repentance

I don't know how I missed Scotty's blog post on Saturday. Actually, I DO know how I missed it. We left our house for the ball fields in Amory at 7:30 a.m. and didn't get home until 11:30 p.m. So, I guess I should say I don't know how there WAS a blog post on Saturday. :)

Anyway, I'm asked A LOT if I have trust issues with Scotty because of our history. When asked this question, my quick answer is always, "NO", because I really don't. Then, being the self proclaimed "stuffer" that I am, I begin to question myself.

SHOULD I have trust issues?

Am I living in denial?

These thoughts are always quick to jump to the surface at those moments. But, I always come back around and realize that I really DON'T have trust issues.... with good reason.

However, I never do a good job of explaining those reasons. Ever. I try! And, then I have to resign myself to the fact that it's just hard to explain.

Scotty's blog post Saturday proves me wrong. Apparently it's NOT so hard to explain, because he said it beautifully. From the first moment Scotty confessed his sin to me, he was truly repentant and FULL of Godly sorrow. For months and months, the reminders of his sin and the possible outcomes would literally bring him to his knees in guilt and gratefulness. To this day, he demonstrates keen awareness that his sin could have done "unfixable" damage to our family.

I took that for granted for a few days... assuming that this was normal behavior for a person, a believer, caught in sin. It didn't take long for me to realize, though, that this attitude of true repentance was actually quite ABnormal. Most people... even believers... want to hide, cover up, fight and make excuses even though they admit what they did was wrong. Most seem to believe that their admission should be enough and everyone else should just move on. I believe repentance only BEGINS at the point of admission. True repentance is what takes place after.

In the time that has followed, I am realizing that many caught in sin need to have an excuse for failure. For me, personally, I want to be able to admit that I've made a mistake WHILE outlining all of the reasons why that mistake was inevitable. That's NOT repentance.

I love the portion of Scotty's blog that says, "Repentance is a beautiful, violent assault against sin." Awesome! And, that's so true. We MUST be violently against sin EVEN WHEN the sin is exposed IN US.

Two years ago, there were times when I wanted Scotty to produce some kind of reason WHY he committed such terrible sin. I would have been happy, at that point, to blame someone else for the sin. He WOULD NOT do it. His standard answer to my questions that really were an attempt to lead him to point a finger was, "that doesn't matter." At the moment of confession, Scotty was violently assaulting the sin. His sin. And, the things that continues to amaze me is this beautiful, violent assault on sin has continued for 2 years now.

Excuses have no place.

Blame has no place.

And, let me just be clear here... I am NOT only talking about the sin of adultery. When I wake up in the morning in a bad mood and choose to let every person in my home know it by my actions and speech, the Spirit within me calls that SIN! I must repent. If that repentance is real, then there will be a marked difference when I wake up in a bad mood the next time.

When I find myself in the middle of a conversation that is in NO way uplifting to the person I am talking about, the Spirit within me AND the Bible call that SIN! I need to repent. And, if it's true, I will respond differently the next time I'm tempted to say something that isn't pure, holy, or uplifting.

I could go on, but I've stepped on my own toes enough with only 2 examples. If each and every one of us could participate in a beautiful, violent assault against sin in OUR OWN lives, we could absolutely change our hearts, our homes, and communities and the world.

I urge you to read Scotty's post called Truly Repentant? and ask for the courage to call your sin what it is. SIN! And, then be bold enough to ask God to call you to an all out assault against it. That will lead to a change. You'll see it, and so will everyone else.