Long Enough...

I've started reading in Deuteronomy during my morning quiet times. And, it's dawned on me that my excitement over this book is probably a little abnormal. I mean, it IS the Law. But, I just love the tone of Deuteronomy. I admire the determination of Moses to SAY everything he could possibly say to the Israelites before his death. And, I even get a little misty eyed when his death occurs BEFORE entrance into the Promised Land. Moses gets to SEE the land, but he doesn't get to enter. Even though, he earned this consequence AND I know it's coming, my heart gets heavy and my eyes "water" every. single. time!

Well, yesterday, I stumbled across a verse that I've obviously read before. But, I've never seen it like I do now.

“You have made your way around this hill country long enough; now turn north."  (2:3)

I'm on my way out the door, but I just HAD to write about my thoughts as I read. I feel like my life (prior to 2 years ago) was a carousel of sorts. It was good! It was eventful! It was controlled! And, there weren't really aspects of my life that could be characterized as bad.... from the outside. But, round and round we went. Moving, but not getting anywhere. 

Internally, there were things I knew I wanted to be different; in my family, in my marriage, in my personal life, and in my spiritual life. In many ways, we were running the rat race. My major concerns were for things like; our financial situation, our boys' ball teams, and my social life. Now, none of these things are terrible things. But.... they were my BIGGEST concerns. 

In other words, I'd left no room for God's guidance in every situation. If He'd asked me to interrupt our schedules in order to slow down and really FIND Him, I know I wouldn't have heard it. 

If He'd wanted me to be still and evaluate each of my relationships and determine if they were healthy, encouraging and uplifting, I couldn't have understood the purpose.

And, if He'd demonstrated that our life and our pace were shoving Him out of our lives in every way that mattered, I would have argued and made my list of WHY that couldn't be so.

In hindsight, I believe that August of 2011 was God's way of saying to me... "You have made your way around this hill long enough..." And, the events that have followed that life changing day have shown me ALL that I missed out on, because my priorities were not God's. 

I wish I could say more and more about this topic. I believe that our packed schedules (sometimes packed with "good" things) are causing us to miss out on GOD. In the midst of our Bible studies, church services, kids' engagements, etc., it seems we are missing the deep experiences that I know God desires for us to have. 

I wish it hadn't taken a crisis for me to realize I'd been 'circling' long enough. I'd have preferred to have had the courage to step out into the deep with the Lord simply because He asked me to. But... my lifestyle didn't leave room for simple nudges. It took an earthquake of sorts. Still... the Lord said "long enough". And, I'm grateful He did. 

I pray every day that I don't ever go back to THAT kind of normal. I want my kids to be involved in SOME things. I want to enjoy friendship. I want to spend time volunteering and serving. But, never again do I want those things to take over and cause me to miss out on His direction. His desire is to lead us carefully along a path towards HIS promised land. We've done it our own way LONG ENOUGH!