Two Years Ago....

Well, it's extremely late. And, this weekend has been such a tiring one. We've been in the hot sun for most of the past two days. I really should be going to bed. But, I NEED to record this very significant day.

Two years ago, I was wrapping up a different kind of exhausting weekend. It was 2011. Scotty had confessed his adultery to me on Friday morning, we met with our pastor late Friday evening, and we spent all of Saturday in emotional dialogue. Then, Sunday morning, we went to church so that Scotty could resign from his ministry there and life changed forever.

But, not exactly like one might have thought it would change. And, certainly not in all the ways I thought it could change.

The reason that I simply can't go to bed until I document my thoughts and feelings this day is because I've actually experienced a celebration of sorts in my spirit while thinking back to that dark Sunday. Two years after THE hardest day of my life, I can look back with JOY. And, I think that's crazy absurd! But....

• 2 years ago today, Scotty began a road towards freedom that has invaded every, single area of our lives. My home is a very different place, and my family is a much stronger family due to Scotty's journey towards freedom.
• 2 years ago today, God began to work in me in a way that has drawn me closer to Him.... closer than I ever would have become had my life remained as neat and tidy as I'd always kept it.
• 2 years ago today, my eyes were opened to grossness of lukewarm living... to the hypocrisy of SAYING that Jesus Christ is Lord of my life but not allowing Him to completely dictate every, single area, every single decision.
• 2 years ago today, I was taking my first steps towards the pursuit of a life I never even knew could exist this side of heaven. I'd always expressed a desire to know Jesus fully, and He began to show me how.... by chasing HARD after Him which meant many, many other priorities would be proven useless and wastes of time. 
• 2 years ago today, the "chord" binding me to the world and the world to me was weakened. I won't say that it was cut, because I'm not totally healed from my concern with the world and what it thinks. But, I care less than I did prior to August of 2011.

And, that's where my joy comes from today. Prior to this weekend, 2 years ago, I was MISSING OUT! I was living life safely... in my own box, dictated by my own thoughts and desires.God may have been calling me to deeper living with Him. But, I couldn't hear him.... until I HAD to hear Him. When I couldn't manage on my own anymore, I was forced to look to Him. And, what I saw was a glorious Heavenly Father whose way for me is far better than anything that I could plan for myself.

I pray daily that we NEVER forget this day 2 years ago. Our pain was the direct result of NEGLECTING the Lord's complete control over our lives. So, remembering gives me the courage to follow hard after Him even if it means making decisions that make me appear "weird" to those around me. As long as I don't forget, I'll live daily in pursuit of HIM and ONLY HIM.... which IS the only pursuit that I should have.

Thank you, God, for rescuing us from mediocrity 2 years ago. Thank you for looking at the life we were so comfortable living and insisting that we do better. I pray that we spend the rest of our days in complete and total obedience, because YOUR way leads to life... our way leads to destruction! Please, don't ever let me forget the TRUTH that knowing YOU and following hard after YOU are THE purposes for my life.