This morning, I was reading a portion of Exodus in my quiet time, and I had sort of an "Aha" moment. Hmmm... I don't know if that is the correct way to describe what actually happened. While the moment was definitely enlightening, there was nothing positive about the way that it felt.
I was reading through Exodus 14 and 15. Earlier this week, I read about the plagues that God issued onto Pharoah and his people, because they would not let the Israelites go. The final plague was the death of all of the firstborn males which led right into the chapter on the Passover. So, today, I began reading through the beginning of their exodus... a chapter that I've heard and read many times. Still, I began with great anticipation.
Early in chapter 14, I read a sentence that I'm sure I've read before, but it really stuck out to me. As you probably remember, Pharoah changed his mind about letting God's people go once they were on their way. So, he and his 600+ chariots began to pursue the Israelites AGAIN. I was so proud to read of the Israelites boldness in verse 8,
"The LORD hardened the heart of Pharoah, king of Egypt, so that he pursued the Israelites, who were marching out of Egypt boldly."
Do you love that sentence? I do. After reading over ten chapters about the Israelites being abused at the hands of the Egyptians, I was so happy to see them in their deliverance. And, their boldness in leaving demonstrated to me that they had been on such a journey with the LORD that they were leaving without fear.
Well, my joy didn't last long. Pharoah began to gain on the Israelites to the point where they turned, looked and saw Pharoah and his army marching after them. I was shocked to see in verse 12 (just 4 verses later!) a complete 180 degree turn in their emotions,
"Didn't we say to you in Egypt, 'Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians'? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert."
WOW! I couldn't believe it. How quickly they forgot all that God had done for them until this point. He was constantly reminding them of the promise made with Abraham and assuring them that THEY were part of that promise. He'd called up Moses and Aaron to lead them... to be a physical presence in guiding them out of slavery. And, the PLAGUES! They had seen God promise to plague Egypt with frogs, gnats, flies, death of livestock, life threatening hail, locusts, and darkness. The Israelites were present when God issued ALL of these plagues and they witnessed His relieving the people of each plague once Moses prayed and asked Him to. And, finally, God promised that the firstborn male of every Egyptian household would die. And, that's exactly what happened. EVERY household in Egypt (even Pharoah's) woke to the death of their oldest male child. But, every Israelite household was saved.
That's really amazing! It's hard for me to imagine a thankless group of people who could forget ALL of that in just 4 short verses. How could they be so impatient with a God that had been so patient with them? And, why would they prefer slavery in Egypt over deliverance with God? I was appalled at their lack of faith!
And, then, it happened. God brought to my memory a little situation from last week. You see, the magnitude of what God has done for me over the last 5 months is nothing short of miraculous. In fact, I would compare these emotional, spiritual and relational miracles that He has performed in our family with ANY of the miracles I mentioned earlier. He has been THAT evident in our daily lives. And, because of that, most days I march boldly out into the world to see what He has in store for me. But, then, there are those days that I don't.
Friday morning, Scotty and I got some less than desirable news concerning our insurance through the school system. Things hadn't been filed as we thought they were going to be filed. And, we were told we'd need to pay some money... a good bit of money... that we weren't planning on paying. It's fine, and it was paid. But, Scotty doesn't have a full time job yet. So, the check was written from money that I would have really liked to hang on to JUST IN CASE we need it later.
I'm not the least bit proud of this, but I REALLY had a pity party. Scotty and I had planned to run. But, I put pjs back on and went back to bed. I stewed over the bad news, and I believe I even began to panic. It was as if I somehow thought that the God who has literally been carrying me through situations that I once thought would have been to heavy to even stand under would now suddenly FORGET that I need to be cared for.
FEAR! Where was the boldness?... It was just there 5 minutes, one hour, several weeks ago.
I didn't even have a king and 600+ chariots chasing after me. But, I was grumbling and complaining over having to write a check that WE ACTUALLY HAD THE MONEY TO WRITE!
So, I couldn't judge the actions of the Israelites in Exodus 8:12 for too long. Nope! I'm way worse. God has proven so faithful in His promises to me and my family. And, at the first sign of difficulty, I was ready for a full blown pity party.
You know that I've always loved Bible study. But, I am being ushered into a love for studying God's word that amazes me. His character shines through each story clearly. He is so patient with the Israelites throughout Exodus. This won't be the last time that they grumble and complain about their circumstances. And, because of their lack of faith, they miss out on a whole lot of blessing. But, God is completely patient with them. Completely! As they demonstrate lack of belief, He does something for them that proves He is believable. Just in case you don't remember what happened after the Israelites grumble about the Egyptians following them, let me remind you.
Their faithful Father parts the Red Sea so that the water stands up on either side like walls! And, the Israelites "walk across on dry land"! The next time they turn around to check out the enemy, that same water is crashing down on top of them and not one Egyptian made it out alive.
This is the God, the Father, the King who is in charge of my life. He is so worthy of complete trust. But, where I lack this trust, He is patient... ready to prove Himself believable.
And, now MY emotions have made a complete 180 degree turn. I'm not quite so ready to condemn those Israelites. I'm very thankful for them! I'm relieved that God was able to use a group of fearful, weak and unbelieving people to fulfill His plans for mankind. Whew! There's hope for me yet.
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