Friendship...

In the past 23 months, I have tried to be VERY careful about the wording of my posts. My situation is a delicate one in that the pain I've felt was due to actions committed against me. Those actions were committed by people close to me AND those people are known by most who have followed my blog. Obviously, I could be open about my feelings toward Scotty and his betrayal, because he is really the only one whose actions make any difference to this family and our future. I DID NOT and I DO NOT want this place to be a place where slanderous things were said about other people.

I set this post up that way, because what is on my mind could possibly be taken as a direct attack on others. But, that is not my intention at all. Please read on with that understanding. I'm going to share pretty deep hurts and emotions, but I'm not sharing them to tear down other individuals. I'm sharing them, because they help me process my inner thoughts and feelings.

It's obvious to all who have read this blog for any length of time that Scotty and I are in the process of healing from his adultery. Those of you that haven't followed for any length of time may not know that or that his unfaithfulness involved more than one person and each of them were friends of mine. One had been my best friend as long as I've been married and had children. Goodness... that's still hard to say.

In hindsight, I can see that there were many red flags in my relationships with these women. Not necessarily in the way they responded to my husband, but in the way they responded to me. Looking back, I can see many instances where these women clearly demonstrated their lack of concern for me, my family and my children. And, for a lot of time, I've been upset with myself that I was unable to voice those concerns to anyone.... especially these women. Every time I was faced with the obvious truth that a friend was insensitive, verbally inappropriate, selfish, demanding or emotionally unstable, I would at first be convicted to re evaluate our relationship. But, each time, I would end up being disappointed with myself. Each time, I'd walk away feeling like I needed to be a little more understanding, open minded and forgiving.... I needed to be a better friend.

Well, that didn't work out so well, and there is nothing I can do about that NOW. But, I HAVE learned from my situation. The main thing I have learned is that I must always trust the Holy Spirit  within me. I'm not saying that every time I get irritated with someone, I should take it as God's warning to stay away from that person. But, I AM saying the Holy Spirit is God's gift to us. When, we have a tug inside of us that says, "something here isn't right", we need to investigate, pray, and ask God if He's speaking wisdom to us.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23

Scripture instructs us to guard our hearts. So, if God is showing us inconsistencies in those around us, we may need to create some distance in order to guard our heart from possible danger.

Secondly, I realized that the reason it was and still is difficult for me to recognize hurtful motives in friends is because I was given the gift of wonderful friendships very early in my life. I've spoken of my 3 friends (Stephanie, Laney & Macy) many times in this blog. I am very often overwhelmed that God gave these friends to me at a time when we really were not old enough to understand what friendship is to be. But, they've proven time & time again that they DO understand friendship. This past weekend, I was able to go to McComb for a 20 year class reunion. It was amazing, and it helped me to realize that God's gift of great friendships isn't isolated to only Steph, Laney & Macy. No. When it comes to true friendships, my cup runneth over. :)

This isn't the greatest picture, but these are GREAT friends. And, this past weekend, I was surrounded by many more. I enjoyed every minute of visiting and catching up with "old" classmates. I think everyone in attendance had a blast. But, the room wasn't filled with people just having a great time. It was filled with people who genuinely love each other... People who have experienced enough of life to know that we must be grateful for the gift of friendship. I know I probably sound like a cheesy Hallmark commercial, and I'm crying right now like I'm watching one.Oh well....

Here's the downfall of having friendships as special as I've had VERY early in life.... You EXPECT that everyone views friendship as you do. You never go into a relationship hesitant that the other person isn't as committed to being a good friend as you are and past friends have been. And, everyone is NOT.

But, the up side to having friendships like these that began long ago and carry on until today is that you NEVER give up on having friends. Yes! I've been betrayed in friendship. And, that betrayal should send me into a shell where I can't open up and refuse to trust others in friendship again. But, I can't do that! Why? Because God has placed amazing people in my life that have been encouraging and uplifting to me for a really long time. And, their investment in my life won't allow me to give up on friendship. They remind me that God called us to live in relationship with other people, and THAT was a beneficial calling.

So, thank you, friends. You all mean the WORLD to me (again, some of you aren't pictured), and I'll never be able to express how truly grateful I am to call you "friend".