Well, I have no secrets, so I have to share this story.
Scotty and I had a bit of a "heated" discussion over the weekend. A much stronger adjective is needed, really, to describe the discussion. But, I can't think of the appropriate word; and, if I could, you would all probably start sending us the names of therapists. So, "heated" is best.
The deal is, we have just let the stresses of life take priority. We haven't gotten away and spent some time alone in a long time. That is not good for me, because I feel loved when my type A husband puts the work aside long enough to show ME that he cares. Scotty feels most loved when I encourage him with words of affirmation. But, you see, he hadn't been doing what I wanted him to do, so there were words coming out of my mouth. I just forgot the affirming part. And, there's the problem. We are in a cycle.
Well, I felt good about sharing all that I needed to share. And, I knew that we'd work it out, but on Sunday I really wasn't through pouting about this situation.
Here comes the funny part.
Sunday night, we are sitting in our newly formed small group at church. When I say newly formed, I mean FIRST meeting. We are sharing prayer requests. Four or five have been shared, and Scotty speaks up:
"Please pray for Amy and me. We are experiencing some 12 year marriage struggles..."
O.K. I don't know what else he says, because all I heard was that noise you hear in awkward situations in movies. It sounds like calm music playing on a record. Then the needle suddenly screeches across the record ending it total, unnerving silence. Are you with me? Can you feel my pain? I felt like I was wearing a mask and someone ripped it off of my face without any warning at all. (You know I'm exaggerating a bit, right?)
The group was very kind. And, I have to admit that it did show me he does truly care about us and our marriage. Also, we tend to put on "costumes" for church. We don't let others see that we don't always have it together. We want our small group to be a place where we are completely real with each other so that we really know each other. I just don't know that our group wanted to really KNOW us the first night.
Well, I shared that very long story to say that last night, Scotty and I were able to get away for a date night. I LOVE date night. We ate at Chili's and then went to see Fireproof.
If you have not seen this movie, please go see it. First of all, it's wonderful. The church that produced Facing the Giants did this movie too. It is just as powerful. Kirk Cameron did a fantastic job (as any former Growing Pains fan would agree). But, secondly, I love the fact that such a positive movie is doing so well in the box office. The gospel is shared several times in several different ways. It's just amazing.
So, date night was a success. We love our kids. But, they are kids. They require our full attention. We have to get away every now and then and do something for us.
I guess I've given my secret away. Things are not always perfect in the Rogers' house. We have struggles just like everyone else. If life were easy, if I didn't have the struggles, I would think I could do it on my own. But, the struggles are there, and life is hard.
We need strength that, humanly, we do not possess; and occasionally, we're brought to our knees by the awareness of our DEpendence on God. In my case, this awareness is usually ushered in by some humiliating experiences. Apparently, I have some pride issues God is working on as well.
I will leave you with the words of my new favorite song. The title is I Will Not Be Moved by Natalie Grant. There's a line in the middle that says... "my brokenness helps me to see, it's grace I'm standing on." It's through the brokenness that we can enjoy the grace. It's a gift.
"It is by grace that we are saved, through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God." Ephesians 2:8
3 comments :
Amy,
GRACIOUS... oh, to have been a fly on the wall that night when Scotty let the cat out of the bag!!! God love you both! :)
It does my heart good to know that you and Scotty are MORE than committed to your marriage. For my sake, never take advantage of the beautiful gift you've been given. Make time for each other!! Love you much and looking forward to seeing you.
Steph
Wow, that's definitely one way to break the ice during small group time! I want to hear how your beach trip was. Maybe I'll see you at the Y tomorrow??
D2
Oh, see...I would probably be the one spilling the beans and Jeremy would be the one silently stewing in it. How great that Scotty felt stong enough about it to share it...but I know what you mean. Scary! Isn't FireProof great! I just love Kirk Cameron anyway.
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