Receive

Every year, I try to something to celebrate the season of Advent. This year, my choice was a no-brainer. My favorite podcaster, Annie F. Downs, has offered a brief Advent podcast every, single morning during the 4 weeks of Advent. She has led me well through hope, peace, and now joy. 

This morning, Annie encouraged listeners to be bearers of joy. I don't know how that command lands on your ears. This morning, I heard it with a sense of excitement. Honestly, though, just yesterday I might have wanted to scream, "Shut up," to my sweet friend and then end the podcast. I'm glad I was able to listen, because I absolutely loved this picture of carrying, or bearing, joy. 

Annie recounted the year Atlanta, GA, hosted the olympics. Because she grew up in GA, she had a vivid memory of watching the torch-bearers run throughout Georgia carrying the Olympic torch. This memory led Annie to ask us the question, "what does a torch-bearer actually do?"

In the olympics or in any other scenario where runners carry torches in relay fashion, they have four major jobs; 

Receive the flame.

Hold it high. 

Follow the course laid out. 

Give the flame away. 

I have to admit that I'm nearly in tears just typing out this very brief message. THIS is the purpose of my life. THIS is what I want to do every, single day from now until my earthly end. THIS is the only thing that fills my life with purpose. 

In the fall of 2016, my year of "believe" was coming to an end. It was the very first year God had given me a word, a mission, and focus for the next year. I desperately hoped He was going to do it again. I started asking Him, and almost immediately He uncovered the word "receive." 

It was weird. 

I was unsure.

It felt very, very, VERY selfish. 

So, of course, I kept asking God for a new word. He kept pointing me back to "receive." I gave in and claimed the word. I'd argued long enough. 

The year was definitely filled with receiving - a new church, a new position for our family, a new role of leadership for me, and a sense of permanence in Florida. It was also the year that set in motion a path that would lead to a spiral of sorts for me. Time constraints, financial restraints, teenagers, and what felt like chaos in every direction for several years exposed a lot (A LOT!) of inner work I'd not done. Then, COVID came. Leading during COVID turned up the heat on any and every imperfection I needed to address. Listen, I'm not proud of the way I handled portions of the last 3 years. In hindsight, I can see that God allowed difficulty to push and press and crush me so that I'd be forced to cooperate with Him for fullness. I reached the very end of myself, and that was a gift. 

As it turns out, true JOY isn't even an option until God is allowed to come in and offer comfort for hurt, peace in chaos, instruction for immaturity, and correction for misunderstanding. 

Today, I'm so glad that God asked me to receive throughout 2017 and beyond. I am praying earnestly right now that I remember all I've received so that I don't have to live the circumstances again. But, I've found a greater connection to God and people. I've discovered emotions and understand that I have to feel them to really enjoy life. I've received the fullness of joy in ways I could never create on my own. 

Now, I get to be a bearer of joy!

I'll never be able to create the flame, but I will put myself in a position to receive it. 

Daily, I get to lift the torch of joy even if it's heavy, or weighty, or difficult. If it were easy, everyone would do it. :) 

I do not have to map out my course, because God is directing my path. 

As often as I can, I will offer the light of my torch to someone else in need of joy. 

What a calling! What a mission! Truly, every step of the journey has been worth it. I pray you receive whatever it is you need today from the only author, creator, and perfecter of your faith.