I was not ready to start school today,
not ready to look at the blank stares,
not ready... not ready.... not ready!!!
So, look! If I had any pride left, I would not admit this. I know (because I used to be this person) that there are people just waiting for me to throw in the towel, realize that school is a better choice for everyone, and say it's just too hard.
Well, some days, it's really, really hard. And, after 3 weeks off, major house renovations going on for months now, and FREEZING cold temps outside, it was really, really hard to think about homeschooling.
On top of that, I really thought I'd get this wild motivation as this day got closer. I'm not kidding... I thought I'd magically wake up one morning and have this sudden urge to jump out of bed, clean out the school supplies, and write beautiful lesson plans for January. So, when that didn't happen by this past Friday, I started questioning everything. Well, maybe not EVERYTHING. But, I sure started questioning ME.
Yesterday, our pastor began a new sermon series on living a life with no regrets. Thankfully, the Lord & a sweet homeschooling friend/mentor (thank you, Dee Dee) had already begun to pull me out of my funk, because this sermon reminded me of every reason we'd decided to homeschool our children last year. In other words, I was convicted (AGAIN) that this isn't about me.
In fact, it was during another sermon series at our church that God began to pull at my heartstrings and open my mind to the possibility of making a change. We were doing a series on the family. It was awesome! We studied so many areas of family life. One Sunday, we were in Deuteronomy 6, and I began to realize that God's command to parents that we TEACH our children LOTS of different things is a serious command.... one that I'd not been taking seriously. Along with that truth, I began to recognize that God has great expectations for families. The way we live and operate at home will play a large part in how our children grow up and live and operate in their own homes. The reality set in that OUR family has A LOT to heal from if we are going to set our children on the path towards healthy marriages and families. True healing just couldn't happen in the average one hour a day we had together as a family (that's an honest calculation... I did the math).
So.... yesterday, Whit asked how we would live differently if we knew we had one month, three months, etc. to live. What would we do?
I would study the Word (Christ, the Word) like it was my very breath, searching for guidance in living abundantly. I would find ways to leave imprints on the lives entrusted to me so that they'd remember my love for them after I'm gone. And... I would teach my children to do the same. But, I wouldn't teach them with an attitude of "I HAVE to do this!"
I wouldn't half heartedly plan out lessons to mark objectives off of a list.
And, I certainly wouldn't wish that I had LESS time with them!
I'd cherish every moment, and I'd teach them important lessons like their very lives depended on it... because I'd realize that they do!
Whew! Am I ever thankful for God's timing! I needed these lessons this weekend. I needed to be reminded that my children deserve my best! ALL of the time... not just when I'm "on duty". They are gifts. And, thankfully, God did this work in me prior to this morning. I REALLY was ready for school when I woke up today. I was HAPPY to be a homeschooling mom!
But, just in case I wasn't, God carefully planned for another great reminder. He's so wise! Here is our memory verse for this week in Claire's writing....
This is what we'd do if we knew when life was going to end! We'd do EVERYTHING to the glory of God. So, why wait?
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