Twenty-one years ago today, I was living my last day without children. I mean, I very clearly had a child. My stomach was giant, and I waddled more than walked. As an elementary school teacher, I NEVER sat behind my desk until the last student walked out of my room. However, for the previous week, I'd found every reason I could think of to spend most of my day in my seat. I was a mother, and my child was directing my steps, but I'd not met him yet.
Tomorrow, that child turns 21. He will be called "an adult." A truer statement, though, might be that his mom has become an adult. Really! Being a mother has offered me another chance to change, develop, and mature in word, deed, and action. Isn't that what growing up is? And, did I really have the tools to do that when I was a child?
So, I'm reflecting. If I can be considered an adult mother tomorrow. What have I learned? I am incredibly happy you asked! :)
1. Sacrificing my body, my schedule, my finances, my LIFE for another human being requires a kind of surrender that children don't have. In every space I've rebelled against the sacrifice OR sacrificed with complaining, I've exposed my own childishness. There is zero shame in that. But, in those spaces there is an invitation to ask God for help.
Being an adult takes humility.
2. Guiding smaller humans in the way they should go is tricky. Although I've wanted guidance to mean controlling where they go in order to protect them from all harm, I think that's the opposite of what was intended. I know it's the opposite of what's proven helpful. In fact, when I've given my children the space to make their own choices and then come alongside them if those choices brought difficult, embarrassing, or painful consequences, we've both learned lessons that require mistakes being made.
Being an adult takes guts.
3. Teaching children what they need to know in order to be responsible citizens of the world is a giant task and probably the one I was most excited about. Just ask anyone who knows me how much I love to teach a lesson. Sometimes, though, I simply don't know the material. I'm not talking about Calculus or Physics when they needed help in school. I'm talking about a fight with a friend, a loss on the field, or a missed opportunity. When I don't know the answers to the lessons I think I'm supposed to be teaching, I tend to feel lost, irresponsible, and invaluable. Maybe the hardest part of growing up is admitting we're still growing up.... we still don't have all the answers.
Being an adult takes honesty.
So, to all the parents out there with one or more children over 21, let's raise our glasses (literally, because we're parenting adults now) to reaching for the humility, guts, and honesty it's taken to mature with our children.
For those of you that follow God and love Jesus, let's thank Him for allowing us to be in process as His children. Since He is our everlasting Father, we get the privilege of being everlasting children.... even as adults.
Now, may the God of peace and harmony set you apart, making you completely holy. And may your entire being - spirit, soul, and body - be kept completely flawless in the appearing of our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One. The One who calls you by name is trustworthy and will thoroughly complete his work in you.
1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 (TPT)
