I've told some of you that Scotty and I are doing Bible study together. It has been such a blessing! Women's Bible study has been one of THE most important parts of my adult life. So, to go through some of these studies with Scotty has been enlightening for both of us.
We've recently started Breaking Free. Wow! I've been through the study before. But I think it's probably unnecessary for me to tell you how different it is this time around. We just finished the week that teaches that Christ came to 'bind up the broken hearted' as written in Isaiah 61. Beth Moore covers 4 different ways in which our hearts can be broken. The fourth day was spent on hearts broken by betrayal. I was NERVOUS about this particular day's study. I'm a self proclaimed 'stuffer'. And, although I've been much more open about my feelings over the past two months, my default mode is still to gloss over too many negative feelings.
Well... There was going to be none of that! The day's study was TOUGH! I feel I should pause here and let you know that I DO still struggle with hard days. My heart hurts greatly some days over the betrayals that I've experienced. I don't harp on those feelings much here, because the great work that God is doing is so much bigger. But, I would hate for anyone to think that my miracle is that I never face sadness. No! My miracle is that even in the sadness, God is doing absolutely amazing things.
Anyway, one of the points made on this particular day's lesson is that the pain of betrayal is often caused by the fact that the person (in my case persons) doing the betraying had to have know how his/her actions would hurt you yet they chose to do it anyway. Bingo! That is a point I'd rather not think about often. However, it was spelled out clear as day right there in my book, and there was no way around it. Can anyone say UGLY CRY?!?!?
The chosen scripture that day was the scripture on Jesus being betrayed by Judas. How perfect! Have you ever noticed in scripture that when Judas identifies who Jesus is he says that He would be the one Judas kissed? It struck me that it was not going to be abnormal for Judas to kiss Jesus, and that tells me that they were very close. Because of that closeness, Judas' betrayal HURT Jesus deeply. In fact, as Jesus went to pray in the Garden of Gethsamane, He said that his heart was sorrowful to the point of death.
I'm so grateful for so many who have encouraged me. There are so many that have prayed with me and offered to sit and talk with me. But sometimes, you just don't think anyone knows exactly how you feel. I was reminded this week that Jesus does! He knows the pain of betrayal. My great high priest knows EXACTLY how I feel. And when He's interceding on my behalf to my Heavenly Father, He knows exactly what I need. Often, I don't even know how to pray for myself. I'm not even sure during those times what could make me feel better. Jesus knows! And He's interceding on my behalf.
Maybe your pain is completely different. I know we all have pain, and scripture is clear.... We have a high priest who has experienced all of the difficulties of life. He KNOWS how we feel AND He knows how to treat it. There is hope in that thought. There is comfort in that truth. The sadness DOES still fill my heart at times. The good news is that it's showing up less often. But, how awesome to know that my Savior chose the road that included betrayal so that I could find comfort in Him in the midst of my own.
He's so good! I pray that you experience His goodness today in a way that leaves you wanting more and more of HIM.
